I Think I May Have a Football Problem

Ten minutes ago I was sitting in a bar, having a drink with a boy…and now, I’m in my room, watching Netflix, and counting down the days until FSU football. When I met a cute boy wearing a Michigan t-shirt at the grocery store, I assumed that we would have something in common. I mean, every guy here wears U of M t-shirts, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything necessarily. But no, of course I find the one who thinks that Michigan is the greatest football program known to man. Anyway, it all started when he didn’t believe that I knew anything about football… Continue reading

Expectation, meet reality

When I was a girl, I was expected to wear pretty dresses and bows in my hair
My father expected me to throw cast nets and
I was expected to be top of my class
I was expected to be smart, but not too smart
I was expected to never leave my small town
I was expected to see the world
I was expected to go to college, get a practical degree, something I could use
I was expected to go to grad school/med school/law school/anyone who’d have me school
I was expected to find a boy who’d marry me
I was expected to accept the first offer I was given
I was expected to be prettier, to be thinner, to be sharper
I was expected to put out
I was expected to say no
I was expected to walk in that big white dress in a church in front of a God that none of my family believed in
I was expected to have babies, lots of babies
I was expected every Sunday to have a pot of spaghetti on the stove and a pan of fried chicken in the oven
I was expected to rely on my husband for everything and nothing
I was expected to have a happily ever after

But that’s not me.
I’m a motley crue of odd traits from great uncles and grandparents long forgotten
I don’t like people telling me what to do, and never have
I would rather learn than do
I would rather follow a whim than rely on a definite
I believe in that God that my family forgets with all my soul
I was smart enough to know that a practical degree would never make me happy,
And a good-enough-for-now job would turn into a where-did-the-time-go career
I know I’ll never be the thinnest, the prettiest, or the sharpest, and I don’t care
I don’t want to have babies
I will never know how to cook anything other than grilled cheeses, and that suits me just fine
The idea of never leaving this town terrifies me
The idea of relying on a man for my identity repulses me
The idea of a happily ever after has never been an option
I am me; I am not an expectation

What do you want to do before you die?

I’ve spent far too much time around 40 year olds lately–likewaytoo much time. They’re all trying to give me life advice about the upcoming move and life-changing decisions, and lamenting the things that they were never able to do in their own lives. Granted that they’re only middle aged, I can only say that one couple has truly gone after their dreams. The proverbial mindset of get married, work a job you hate, raise some kids, and retire to happy boredom is gone. We (I supposed they call us Millennials) do not have that luxury anymore, and I don’t think that we should. I’ll happily work a job I hate for a little while in order to take a year off traveling the world. I’ll forgo marriage and childrne (something I’ve never been too keen on in the first place) to further my dreams for my life. I’ll subsist off ramen and vegetables in order to help someone because I don’t have people to take care of; I’m fine to pick up and move at a moment’s notice purely because I resist traditional responsibility. This is purely a Millennial trait, and I suppose one could say I embody the mindset. I refuse to believe that the traditional factors–what others want of me–is all there is.

So, in honor of the turning in of my formal resignation letter I am writing a bucket list of all the things I want to do before I’m 30 (I suppose it’s possible for me to either a) not complete the list by the time I’m 30 and thus attempt before I die or b) I might die before I’m 30  so I’m doubly covered). I did one of these for all the things I wanted to do during my 21st year (finally finished it at 23) so we’ll see  how it goes. Continue reading